Why Can’t I Lose Weight?

The biggest roadblock to successful weight loss isn’t only the food you eat and it’s not only the exercise you do.

It’s negative thinking.

Weight loss requires a sustained calorie deficit over time (energy intake below energy expenditure). Mindset matters because it affects consistency and decision-making, but it does not replace the underlying energy balance.

For a plain-language overview of evidence-based weight management principles, see CDC Steps for Losing Weight.

If you are thinking “I can’t lose weight no matter what I do” or “Why can’t I lose weight with diet and exercise?”, you need a change of mindset. Losing weight is entirely possible with the right mental approach.

Notes from a Weight Loss Journal

Witness this scenario from one of my clients’ weight loss journals (used with permission):

I should lose weight. I ought to lose weight. I need to go on a diet.

I will start Monday. Mondays are easier. Actually, why should I wait until Monday? I’ll start today! It will be awful. It will be terrible but, once I start losing a few pounds, I’ll get excited and then I’ll be motivated to continue. Isn’t that how it works?

7:30 a.m. – black coffee, one hard-boiled egg.

10 a.m. – Starving. Oh! Someone brought it donuts!

But I shouldn’t have one. Even though I’m starving. I actually feel a little faint. Hey, why does Julie get to eat donuts and I don’t? How does she stay thin if she eats donuts? I can’t have a donut. I am so fat. Look at her! She’s having so much fun. I wonder why I eat a donut and look like a tub of lard and Julie eats whatever she wants and never gains a pound. Life just isn’t fair!

11 a.m. – It’s not lunch time but I am so hungry I could eat a horse. I’m going to the deli and get lunch early. Checked the salads but they look kind of wilted and not too fresh. Looked at the soup list. Nothing I like. There really wasn’t anything else to eat so I ordered a cheeseburger and fries, then grabbed a brownie at the checkout.

11:40 a.m. – Oh boy do I feel guilty. I am so weak. I have no willpower whatsoever. I was doing so well all morning! I didn’t even have a donut! I have really blown it now.

I wonder how many calories were in that cheeseburger I just inhaled? It couldn’t have been much, it was small. In fact I’m still hungry. I’ll never lose weight. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just can’t do anything right.

I don’t know how I even survive at this job. I’m completely inept. It’s a good thing my boss is oblivious. He doesn’t see what an imbecile I am.

I didn’t set out in life to be an awful person. I’m not even sure it’s my fault. Who can I blame? Oh, that’s silly. It’s my fault. I’m weak, I’m stupid, I’m inept, I can’t do anything right. I’m a blithering idiot……

Why Negative Thinking Becomes Impactful

It’s easy to see how this kind of downward spiral can take a person from eating a cheeseburger to being “an awful person” in record time. Here are some components of negative thinking:

1. Problems are seen as permanent,

2. You identify yourself as the problem or the cause of the problem, then

3. You begin to feel like the problem is a symbol of your personal defectiveness.

A Lesson in Not Getting Emotional

I like to contrast the journal entry above with a story of my own.

I stopped at a local petrol station about a year ago and filled up the tank. A while later, my car started sputtering and acting as if the engine was going to die.

The car wouldn’t accelerate and I felt as though I was put-puttering along while cars all around me sped by. I immediately connected the lack of performance with the new petrol. I would run fine for a while, then start the hesitation routine again.

I continued drive the car until it was about a quarter of a tank below full and refilled at another service station. The problems lessened and again, I drove it until it was a quarter of a tank less than full and refilled again. The problems ceased.

The point here is that I certainly didn’t get emotional about the contaminated fuel (probably mixed with water) which I bought. I certainly didn’t blame myself for it. I made a mental note never to buy from that particular petrol station again. I did what I could to solve the problem and I moved on.

Let’s Chill When It Comes to Eating

The science of eating can be complicated. Over-emotionalising choices and decisions can be stressful, if not downright traumatic. Destructive and negative thinking need to be recognised and eliminated, especially when it comes to the all-important process of fueling your body.